One of my areas of special interest that I work with a lot is self-concept, which is all about the relationship you have with yourself.
The number one struggle I hear about is self-care. This can manifest as putting yourself at the bottom of a long list, feeling you “should” be putting others first, growing up to believe that looking after yourself is selfish, or perhaps, thinking you have no idea what you enjoy anymore.
Prioritising ourselves is a common concern, with belief systems based on people pleasing and not viewing yourself as “worthy enough” to look after.
So, let’s separate that out right now, you are allowed to prioritise self-care AND still be a good person.
Take a moment, breathe, and let that sink in.
There is a saying, “you can’t pour from an empty cup”, which you may have heard. It’s true. When your resources are running on empty, you simply can’t give anything, let alone more. Your resources want topping up, with a regular supply.
Self-care isn’t about the big stuff or being limited to only one day of the week. For consistent, healthy self-care, small inclusions on a daily basis are what will improve and maintain your wellbeing more effectively. For example, what are your daily basics to function well?
For me, its drinking lots of water through out the day, getting outside or seeing some natural daylight and having some time, ideally half an hour, to be on my own in a quiet space.
The basics
Once you have the basics, then you can build in other small self-care habits. Such as, reading a book, going on a walk with a friend or tending to houseplants. A key to doing this and maintaining it effectively is time boundaries. Instead of saying “I don’t have time” rephrase it to “where can I create time for myself.” Prioritising yourself is allowed, it DOESN’T make you selfish, and saying no to others sometimes is part of that.
Engaging in activities or hobbies is a great way to implement self-care, for example, my Nature Connection for Wellbeing Course, joining a book club, exercising, singing, or bird watching.
Self-care tips
- Be consistent, the more you practice self-care, the easier it will become part of your routine.
- Say no to people or activities that drain your energy.
- Saying yes to people or activities that boost your energy and help you feel good.
- Try different activities out, explore and discover what you enjoy and don’t enjoy.